曾子談?wù)摽鬃拥牡朗牵骸胺蜃又?，忠恕而已矣?！彼^“忠”，就是“盡己”，凡事有始有終，這是敬慎心，也就是平等心。所謂“恕”，就是“己所不欲，勿施于人”；這是體諒心，也就是大悲心。要想擁有這些美好的道德，必須自小在家庭生活中培養(yǎng)起。
In speaking of the doctrine of Confucius, Zeng Zi said, "The doctrine of our teacher is simply loyalty and forgiveness." Loyalty means to do one's best. We must finish whatever we start. It also means having a cautious and respectful attitude, and an attitude of fairness and equality. Forgiveness means not doing to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself. This is an attitude of considering others' feelings, and is therefore great compassion. To have these good virtues, one must start developing them at home when one is young.
譬如這里所說的，替長(zhǎng)輩叫人，就可以訓(xùn)練孩子對(duì)人對(duì)事的敬慎心。怎么說呢？長(zhǎng)輩一定是有事，才須要找人去；“有事弟子服其勞”，我們當(dāng)然應(yīng)該代他去把人找來。萬一要找的人不在，我們?nèi)舨蝗セ馗?，長(zhǎng)輩就會(huì)在那兒苦等，這樣我們豈不是很沒責(zé)任感嗎 ？所以要有頭有尾地完成這件事，不但去回覆長(zhǎng)輩，更要進(jìn)一步請(qǐng)問有沒有自己可以代為效勞的。這種對(duì)人對(duì)事的敬慎心，就是培養(yǎng)我們的責(zé)任感。一個(gè)有責(zé)任感的人，遇事不會(huì)漠不關(guān)心或虎頭蛇尾，所以也是個(gè)可以付托重任的人。這便是“忠”的精神！不要以為叫叫人只是小事，大道德原都是自微細(xì)處實(shí)行起的。
For example, running errands for our elders can train us to be cautious and respectful in handling business. Why? Our elders must have urgent business to take care of when they call for someone. "When there's a task to be done, we as disciples should help out," so of course we must go and find the person they want to see. If the person we are looking for cannot be found and we don't go back to report to our elders, they will be there waiting and will be very worried. Wouldn't that be irresponsible on our part? So we must finish the errand completely. Not only should we go back to tell our elders that we can't find the person, we must ask further if they have anything else we can do. This kind of careful respect will help us to develop a sense of responsibility. A responsible person will not handle matters as if he didn't care, nor will he start out with big plans but end up doing very little. He is someone who can take on heavy responsibilities. This is the spirit of loyalty. Do not think that running errands for people is a petty chore; great virtues all begin with the practice of small deeds.
不直呼長(zhǎng)輩的名字，也是一種敬慎的表現(xiàn)。現(xiàn)代的孩子，不但對(duì)兄姐直呼其名，對(duì)父母長(zhǎng)輩也直呼其名；美其名曰縮短人際距離，其實(shí)已開了長(zhǎng)幼無序的大門。長(zhǎng)幼無序的結(jié)果怎樣呢？孩子小時(shí)，對(duì)父母就狎昵而不知恭敬；稍長(zhǎng)，父母稍不滿他的愿，就會(huì)認(rèn)為父母不再關(guān)心他；長(zhǎng)大后，自然動(dòng)輒忤逆反抗，成為一個(gè)不孝子。是故當(dāng)孩子小時(shí)，做父母的若不能以恭敬兄長(zhǎng)來要求他，甚至對(duì)他不禮貌的言語舉止，還以為逗笑可愛，日后就不免要嘗到氣惱傷心的滋味了！
Not calling elders by their first name is also a sign of cautiousness and respect. Children nowadays not only call their elder brothers and sisters by their first names, but also call their parents and elders by name. Some people defend this trend, saying that it lessens the distance between people, but in actuality it is opening the door to there being no distinction between elders and children. What is the result of all this? Children will become too familiar with their parents when they are little, and will not know to respect their parents. When children reach their pre-teens, if the parents do not fulfill their wishes, they will feel that their parents don't care about them anymore. When they grow up they will rebel and become unfilial children. Therefore when children are young, if the parents do not require them to respect their elder brothers and sisters, and merely think they are kidding and are cute when they speak and act with bad manners, later on the parents will experience anger.
那么又為什么在長(zhǎng)輩面前不該賣弄自己的本事呢？俗話說：“逢人但說三分話。” 又說：“匹夫無罪，懷璧其罪?！辈毁u弄自己的本事，可以免去他人嫉害，不但對(duì)自己是一種保護(hù)，而且對(duì)人更是一種慈悲。試想想看：如果換了是別人在我們不能的事情上炫耀，我們是不是也很難堪呀？所以從這小事做起，可以長(zhǎng)養(yǎng)慈悲心，學(xué)會(huì)體諒人，這就是恕道！
Why shouldn't we exceedingly show off ourselves in front of the elders? There is a saying which reads, "One should only reveal 30% of himself", and another which reads, "It is not the one that hides the treasure who is to be blamed, but the treasure that is hidden by him that is to be blamed." We will cause less jealousy if we do not show off ourselves. It is not only to protect ourselves, but also to show compassion towards others. Just imagine, if someone tries to boast about himself regarding things that we are unable to do, we will we feel intimidated or embarrassed. From these small gestures, we can start to nurture a compassionate mind and learn to be considerate of others. This is "forgiveness."
In speaking of the doctrine of Confucius, Zeng Zi said, "The doctrine of our teacher is simply loyalty and forgiveness." Loyalty means to do one's best. We must finish whatever we start. It also means having a cautious and respectful attitude, and an attitude of fairness and equality. Forgiveness means not doing to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself. This is an attitude of considering others' feelings, and is therefore great compassion. To have these good virtues, one must start developing them at home when one is young.
譬如這里所說的，替長(zhǎng)輩叫人，就可以訓(xùn)練孩子對(duì)人對(duì)事的敬慎心。怎么說呢？長(zhǎng)輩一定是有事，才須要找人去；“有事弟子服其勞”，我們當(dāng)然應(yīng)該代他去把人找來。萬一要找的人不在，我們?nèi)舨蝗セ馗?，長(zhǎng)輩就會(huì)在那兒苦等，這樣我們豈不是很沒責(zé)任感嗎 ？所以要有頭有尾地完成這件事，不但去回覆長(zhǎng)輩，更要進(jìn)一步請(qǐng)問有沒有自己可以代為效勞的。這種對(duì)人對(duì)事的敬慎心，就是培養(yǎng)我們的責(zé)任感。一個(gè)有責(zé)任感的人，遇事不會(huì)漠不關(guān)心或虎頭蛇尾，所以也是個(gè)可以付托重任的人。這便是“忠”的精神！不要以為叫叫人只是小事，大道德原都是自微細(xì)處實(shí)行起的。
For example, running errands for our elders can train us to be cautious and respectful in handling business. Why? Our elders must have urgent business to take care of when they call for someone. "When there's a task to be done, we as disciples should help out," so of course we must go and find the person they want to see. If the person we are looking for cannot be found and we don't go back to report to our elders, they will be there waiting and will be very worried. Wouldn't that be irresponsible on our part? So we must finish the errand completely. Not only should we go back to tell our elders that we can't find the person, we must ask further if they have anything else we can do. This kind of careful respect will help us to develop a sense of responsibility. A responsible person will not handle matters as if he didn't care, nor will he start out with big plans but end up doing very little. He is someone who can take on heavy responsibilities. This is the spirit of loyalty. Do not think that running errands for people is a petty chore; great virtues all begin with the practice of small deeds.
不直呼長(zhǎng)輩的名字，也是一種敬慎的表現(xiàn)。現(xiàn)代的孩子，不但對(duì)兄姐直呼其名，對(duì)父母長(zhǎng)輩也直呼其名；美其名曰縮短人際距離，其實(shí)已開了長(zhǎng)幼無序的大門。長(zhǎng)幼無序的結(jié)果怎樣呢？孩子小時(shí)，對(duì)父母就狎昵而不知恭敬；稍長(zhǎng)，父母稍不滿他的愿，就會(huì)認(rèn)為父母不再關(guān)心他；長(zhǎng)大后，自然動(dòng)輒忤逆反抗，成為一個(gè)不孝子。是故當(dāng)孩子小時(shí)，做父母的若不能以恭敬兄長(zhǎng)來要求他，甚至對(duì)他不禮貌的言語舉止，還以為逗笑可愛，日后就不免要嘗到氣惱傷心的滋味了！
Not calling elders by their first name is also a sign of cautiousness and respect. Children nowadays not only call their elder brothers and sisters by their first names, but also call their parents and elders by name. Some people defend this trend, saying that it lessens the distance between people, but in actuality it is opening the door to there being no distinction between elders and children. What is the result of all this? Children will become too familiar with their parents when they are little, and will not know to respect their parents. When children reach their pre-teens, if the parents do not fulfill their wishes, they will feel that their parents don't care about them anymore. When they grow up they will rebel and become unfilial children. Therefore when children are young, if the parents do not require them to respect their elder brothers and sisters, and merely think they are kidding and are cute when they speak and act with bad manners, later on the parents will experience anger.
那么又為什么在長(zhǎng)輩面前不該賣弄自己的本事呢？俗話說：“逢人但說三分話。” 又說：“匹夫無罪，懷璧其罪?！辈毁u弄自己的本事，可以免去他人嫉害，不但對(duì)自己是一種保護(hù)，而且對(duì)人更是一種慈悲。試想想看：如果換了是別人在我們不能的事情上炫耀，我們是不是也很難堪呀？所以從這小事做起，可以長(zhǎng)養(yǎng)慈悲心，學(xué)會(huì)體諒人，這就是恕道！
Why shouldn't we exceedingly show off ourselves in front of the elders? There is a saying which reads, "One should only reveal 30% of himself", and another which reads, "It is not the one that hides the treasure who is to be blamed, but the treasure that is hidden by him that is to be blamed." We will cause less jealousy if we do not show off ourselves. It is not only to protect ourselves, but also to show compassion towards others. Just imagine, if someone tries to boast about himself regarding things that we are unable to do, we will we feel intimidated or embarrassed. From these small gestures, we can start to nurture a compassionate mind and learn to be considerate of others. This is "forgiveness."