Vitamin Not Poison
    郭聰
    吉林省吉林市江城中學(xué)高三四班
    With the high development of science and techonology, computers have stepped into common people's daliy life. Computers are like vitamin and bring us lots of nutritions, however, if we don't use them in a right way, they can be poisonous and have bad effects on us.
    There is no doubt that computers are changing our life more or less from young to old, from person to the whole society. To our students, computers can bring us a large number of knowledge with its various news and readings, which may broaden our eyes, full our minds and keep up with all the fashions. It's also convinent for teachers and schools on education. Teachers can exchange their teaching experience through the internet and electronic technoloy teaching can be more lively and esily draw students' attention, no doubt, the qulity of teoching will be improved. What's more, many middle aged people may play games, listen some light music to relife their pressure, while the olds can also enjoy themselves by computers. In addition, companyies use computers to do bussiness, which will be more convienent, of couse can make more profits.
    However, as the old going says “Every coin has two sides”. if we can't use computers in a proper way, it's also harmful. In modem life, many students even college students are so addicated to computers that they give up studying half-way; at the same time the crimeinal rent of computers is growing up these years. As a consequence, many students have mentle illness and all the above will have bad effects on the tohole society.
    In my opinion, computers are good tools for us just like vitamin, if we do not want them to be poison, the only thing we should do is to control ourselves and use them in a reasonable and proper way and partents should show respect for computers and company with their child in case of some unheathly effects.
    Taking all these factors into consideration, computers are vitamin not poison. Computers bring us knowledge and joyand Since reforming is boorning in China, computers are becoming more and more important. Without computers, forgien guests can not know more about China; without computers commnication is still be a serious problem; without computers the Olympic won't be such a success. If we use computers in a proper way, we will find it like vitamin not poison, only in this way can we arm our-selves with knowledye, keep up the high pace of modern life and really make a difference.
    專家建議：
    建議該考生針對自己的寫作語言還有必要再雕琢的情況，平時在學(xué)習(xí)中學(xué)課本或是閱讀課外權(quán)威英語材料時，有意識地積累文章中的英語表達(dá)，以便以后在寫作過程中使用。另外，文章中偶爾出現(xiàn)邏輯錯誤，這就要求考生平時有意識地多閱讀英文議論文章，并且觀察與模仿文章中嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)倪壿嬯P(guān)系，提升自己的邏輯思考能力。
    專家點(diǎn)評：
    該篇文章段落間結(jié)構(gòu)基本清晰，內(nèi)容豐滿充沛。特別之處在于把計算機(jī)比作維生素來說明一件東西如果我們利用得當(dāng)那么它就是寶貝；如果利用不得當(dāng)，那它就是“毒藥“。文章語言運(yùn)用絕對超出了現(xiàn)階段高中生的平均水平，詞匯運(yùn)用較為準(zhǔn)確和高級，語法及句型運(yùn)用也較為豐富和多變。但是，文章中充斥著大量與主題無關(guān)的語句，使文章顯得冗長厚重。把電腦比作維生素從某些角度來寫也是不嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)?，再有，文章中的一些語句存在邏輯錯誤，還有空間再進(jìn)行雕琢，可使文章語言更地道更嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。