The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers.
    曹欣平
    安徽省黃山市屯溪一中高一2班
    Currently, with the development of Internet, more and more people voico focus on the issue that whether it is right to have got a computer. As we all know, a coin has two sides, and a computer has both advantages and disadvatages. Sometimes, we insist that it is rather useful to get a computer, but on the other hand, we find it much more hamful. In a word, however, nothing goins more discussion than computers.
    For one thing, we regard computer convenient, in that we can use a computer to draw pictures, write essays and sum up countless numbers. We work on computers and comminicate by Internet. Because of e-mails, on-line shopping and trimendous, number of imformations on Internot, we adnire the useful computer. What's more, computer and Internet can work in a fantastic speed, which makes our work swiftly. No one com deny that, human can live and work well without computers.
    For omother, however, computers bring harmfulnesses to us as well. First, computer games are at large nowadays. Teenagers can be octlracted by them easily. They plays computers night and day, forgetting anything including study. They spend their valueable youngth hurting thies active bodies. Glasses on their faces show their weakness of sight. Meanwhile internet provides too many things and people cannot tell bad ones from right ones promptly sometimes. As a result, their spirit can be damaged. Nothing can be worse than this. The last but not the least, internet offers many ways to crime. Meanwhile, it is hard to find out. For instance, some bad sayings spread well on internet but the police can do nothing to stop them.
    As for as I am concerned, I consider that the computer is rather useful. Whether you may be damaged by computers and internet depends on yourself to the core. You would not be hurt if your, eyes were bright enough to tell right from wrong. As for me, I use computers to write articles, watch movies and communicate with each other and I do not fancy any computer games. Besides, the Governmout should focus their attention to protecting teenagers from computer games. At last, I would say that despite the disadvantages still exist now, computers play a very significant part of role in modern life.
    專家建議：
    建議該生多讀英語(yǔ)議論文章，揣摩正規(guī)議論文的段落內(nèi)部的邏輯關(guān)系是怎樣做到嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)合理的，培養(yǎng)對(duì)一件事發(fā)表議論的能力。另外，平時(shí)應(yīng)該多練習(xí)寫(xiě)作議論文，并在寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中要求自己思路清晰，明確自己究竟要寫(xiě)什么，為什么要寫(xiě)這句話，句與句之間到底有沒(méi)有關(guān)系，有什么關(guān)系。希望對(duì)作者有所幫助。
    專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：
    本文結(jié)構(gòu)設(shè)置清晰明了，詞匯及句型句式的運(yùn)用較為高級(jí)和豐富，語(yǔ)法應(yīng)用也比較準(zhǔn)確和多樣。不足之處在于本文段落內(nèi)部邏輯的混亂，句與句之間的邏輯關(guān)系更是令讀者一頭霧水。值得一提的是，本文還多處出現(xiàn)了議論文章的大忌諱，那就是主觀猜測(cè)出的毫無(wú)依據(jù)支持的信息以及缺乏客觀性的極端信息，希望作者日后避免此類錯(cuò)誤。