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        by Leslie Adrienne Miller

        字號(hào):

        by Leslie Adrienne Miller
             It's true that you don't know them——nor do I
             know what I wanted their movement to say
             when I tucked them in an envelope with words
             for you. I thought it was my life caught
             in a warm night. I believed myself loved
             by the wan and delicate man you see dancing
             against the drop-off behind them all. But you
             can't see that they are on a mountain, that
             just beyond the railings is a ravine, abrupt
             and studded with thorn, beyond it, a river,
             dry bed of stone that, by the time you take
             the photo from the envelope, will have filled
             with green foam of cold torrents from high
             in the Alps. This is France, you think, as you look
             at the people dancing, but there is nothing of France
             visible save one branch of a tree close enough
             to catch in their hair. I could tell you that by the time
             you see this picture, the young girl with the long jaw
             launching her bared navel at the lens will have bedded
             the man you're afraid of losing me to. There is food
             on the table, French food, and so more beautiful for that,
             green olives in brine, a local cake in paper lace,
             sliced tomatoes that look in the flash like flesh
             with their red spill of curve and seed. I could tell you
             they grew not twenty meters from the table
             where you see them, that I picked them one day
             with the small woman who bares her breasts
             in this photo because she is about to leave us
             and doesn't know any other way to say she is sad.
             They're alive is all you'll say of the scene, which
             is to say you feel you're not. It is November
             by the time I've thought to send you the photo,
             by the time I feel myself ready to part with the image.
             By then, the woman of the manifest breasts has left us,
             and the one with the dark eyes who loved her
             has darker eyes. Very soon after this dancing stopped,
             the man with the hollow cheeks took the girl
             of the ripe navel to his bed because he, like you,
             is so afraid of dying, he invites it daily, to try him.
             The girl's last lover was a boy on heroin in Cairo
             with the possible end of them both asleep in his blood,
             and now too in the blood of the lover I wanted
             to save. Because you are married to a woman
             who insists on wearing her dead sister's clothes,
             you understand that while I am not in this picture,
             I am in this picture. Know that I need never see it again
             to see: the incessant knot of the girl's navel is a fist,
             an oily wad of sweet-sour girl flesh, a ball of tissue
             I twisted and crushed all of that evening, and since.
             You refuse to remember her name, or his, because you want
             to be my lover again, and the others must be kept
             abstract. They were alive you say again, not more,
             because the heart is nothing if not a grave. You want me
             because your wife holds out her familiar wrist to you
             in the terrible sleeve of her dead sister's dress,
             because I reach for the gaunt cheek of the man
             who worships at the luminous inch of belly on the girl
             who lifts her arms from the body of a boy none of us
             will ever know in Cairo, the girl, who dead center
             in the photo, lifts the potent, mocking extravagance
             of her flash-drenched arms, and dances for us all.