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        確定主干:漢譯英的重要技巧

        字號(hào):

        2003年的全國(guó)英語(yǔ)專業(yè)八級(jí)考試(TEM8)的翻譯部分(漢譯英)
            原文全文如下:
            得病以前,我受父母寵愛(ài),在家中橫行霸道,一旦隔離,拘禁在花園山坡上一幢小房子里,我頓感打入冷宮,十分郁郁不得志起來(lái)。一個(gè)春天的傍晚,園中百花怒放,父母在園中設(shè)宴,一時(shí)賓客云集,笑語(yǔ)四溢。我在山坡的小屋里,悄悄掀起窗簾,窺見(jiàn)園中大千世界,一片繁華,自己的哥姐,堂表弟兄,也穿插其間,個(gè)個(gè)喜氣洋洋。一霎時(shí),一陣被人摒棄,為世所遺的悲憤兜上心頭,禁不住痛哭起來(lái)。
            閱學(xué)生之譯文,筆者發(fā)現(xiàn)有一個(gè)問(wèn)題值得我們教師注意,即如何在動(dòng)筆翻譯前,能迅速正確地確定英譯的主語(yǔ)。如:
            1. 得病以前,我受父母寵愛(ài),在家中橫行霸道。
            學(xué)生譯文(以下簡(jiǎn)稱“學(xué)譯”):Before the illness, I was much petted by parents, doing everything at will in the home.
            學(xué)譯:Before I became ill, I have received all the favor of my parents, just like a little tyrant at home.
            參考譯文:Before I fell ill, I had been the bully under our roofs owing to my doting parents.
            我們知道,漢語(yǔ)表達(dá)大多為“意合”結(jié)構(gòu),結(jié)構(gòu)松散,以一個(gè)一個(gè)看似并列的短句“拼湊而成,彼此邏輯關(guān)系不明顯;但英語(yǔ)則不同于漢語(yǔ),它是形合語(yǔ)言,非常講究句子內(nèi)部的邏輯關(guān)系的”外化“,所謂”外化“,即,使用Connectives來(lái)表現(xiàn)其邏輯關(guān)系。我國(guó)譯界有一個(gè)比喻:漢語(yǔ)句子的結(jié)構(gòu)像”竹竿“,是一節(jié)接一節(jié)的;而英語(yǔ)句子則像”葡萄“,主干很短,而”掛“在上面的附加成分則很多??梢哉f(shuō),漢譯英的過(guò)程,是一個(gè)由”竹竿“向”葡萄“轉(zhuǎn)換的過(guò)程。首先要確定”一節(jié)接一節(jié)“的漢語(yǔ)句子,選其中的哪一節(jié)為英句的”(葡萄)主干“。
            上面的漢語(yǔ)原句就含有一定的邏輯關(guān)系。“受父母寵愛(ài)”是因,而“在家中橫行霸道”則是果。“果”應(yīng)是全句的重心,英譯上句,“(葡萄)主干”當(dāng)選定“在家中橫行霸道”而非學(xué)生譯文所選的“我受父母寵愛(ài)”。
            2. 一旦隔離,拘禁在花園山坡上一幢小房子里,我頓感打入冷宮,十分郁郁不得志起來(lái)。
            學(xué)譯: When isolated and taken into custody in a small house on the hillside of our garden, I felt like I was abandoned, getting more and more depressed.
            學(xué)譯: As soon as I was kept apart in a small flat built on the hillside in the garden, I suddenly felt being consigned to limbo, gloomily and disappointedly.
            參考譯文:Feeling like being deposed into a cold palace, I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration immediately after I was segregated and confined in a small house on a hillside in our garden.
            漢語(yǔ)原句有“四節(jié)”,哪一部分應(yīng)該成為英句之“主干”?“我頓感打入冷宮”,還是“十分郁郁不得志起來(lái)”?學(xué)譯都把“我頓感打入冷宮”處理為“主干”,而參考譯文則反其道而行之。細(xì)細(xì)分析,“十分郁郁不得志起來(lái)”和“我頓感打入冷宮”,兩者也有主次關(guān)系。顯然,“十分郁郁不得志起來(lái)”為主,“我頓感打入冷宮”為次。兩者之間,不僅存在時(shí)間先后的順序,而且還存在著邏輯上的“因果”。因此,參考譯文處理得當(dāng)。另一個(gè)值得參考之處在于:“主干” (I began to taste the bitterness of depression and frustration)的前后均有附加成分,句子顯出“平衡美”。
            3. 一個(gè)春天的傍晚,園中百花怒放,父母在園中設(shè)宴,一時(shí)賓客云集,笑語(yǔ)四溢。
            學(xué)譯: At one dusk in spring, flowers were blooming wildly in the garden, my parents were holding a banquet, in which guests were gathering, laughters could be heard everywhere.
            學(xué)譯:On a spring evening, hundreds of flowers were in full bloom in the garden where my parents hosted a banquet. For a while, guests gathered in large number, laughing and talking, which could be heard clearly.
            參考譯文:On a spring evening, my parents gave a banquet in the garden where a profusion of flowers were in full bloom. In no time, a crowd of their guests collected and laughter was heard all over there.
            漢語(yǔ)原句的“節(jié)數(shù)”增加到“五節(jié)”。譯成英語(yǔ),仍應(yīng)確定正確的“主干”,兩個(gè)“學(xué)譯”不謀而合,將“園中百花怒放”, 而不是“父母在園中設(shè)宴”作為“主干”來(lái)處理。讀來(lái),給人一種觀比薩斜塔的感覺(jué)。相比之下,參考譯文則給人一種美感,散發(fā)出濃郁的英語(yǔ)味?