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        新gre作文官方范文全解析(三)

        字號(hào):


            范文分析
            第一篇文章
            
          Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, rollerskaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
            原題邏輯順序?yàn)椋簲?shù)據(jù)顯示了對(duì)保護(hù)裝備的需求==〉展開說明這個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)是怎樣顯示這樣的需求的(即用這個(gè)裝備有什么效果)==〉結(jié)論:為了達(dá)到這個(gè)效果我們應(yīng)該重金買這保護(hù)設(shè)備。
            Benchmark 6
            The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products to either prevent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. 前兩句首先肯定了原命題中值得肯定的地方。這是求同存異的表現(xiàn)。注意這里第一句作者同意原命題的同時(shí),在第二句緊接著就給出了展開的證明。而沒有光是羅列觀點(diǎn)。However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear. 再說原命題是存在邏輯漏洞的,即它因。這里并沒有展開論證,因?yàn)檫@是全文的中心句,整個(gè)文章都在后面給予論證。同時(shí),最后半句給出了論據(jù)中的潛在后果。
            First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear -- preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). body打頭第一段是屬于攻擊總前提假設(shè)的,作者認(rèn)為這個(gè)(即保護(hù)性設(shè)備和防護(hù)性設(shè)備的差別)是有必要在討論一切之前弄清楚的。論證方法為質(zhì)疑假設(shè),加條件后討論,提出建議。實(shí)際上,這個(gè)前提對(duì)應(yīng)的就是開頭段的前兩句話。深層的含義就是,盡管我在開頭對(duì)你的某一個(gè)部分作了讓步似的同意,但是這個(gè)同意也是建立在一定的假設(shè)基礎(chǔ)上的,要是這個(gè)假設(shè)搞不清楚,哼哼我讓不讓步還不一定呢!本段就來討論這個(gè)假設(shè)基礎(chǔ)。Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident. 這兩句分別從兩個(gè)方面進(jìn)行了論述,為本段第一句話的論證進(jìn)行服務(wù),每一方面的具體方法是先定義,再比較。論證方法為加上不同的條件后進(jìn)行討論,比如前一句話假定只有防護(hù)性裝備會(huì)怎樣,后一句話假定只有保護(hù)性裝備會(huì)怎么樣。The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. 這里提出了作者的建議,即如何通過進(jìn)一步的完善使原命題更加的有力。These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial. 如果這個(gè)問題(保護(hù)防護(hù)設(shè)備的差別)解決了后面的討論才能繼續(xù)。所以說,總的來說這一段是討論了原文一個(gè)核心的前提。