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    2021年考研英語：備考作文的拓展解析
    兩篇看起來大同小異的大作文，為什么一篇老師打了19分，而另一篇只給了15分?
    知道這四分之差意味著什么?意味著閱讀錯了兩道題(2道題*2分)，意味著完型錯了八道題(8道題*0.5分)
    而復(fù)習(xí)這些題你又需要花費(fèi)多少時間才能提高這個分?jǐn)?shù)呢?
    每一分都很重要，聽專家的，快速提升主觀題成績，讓成功來的更容易些。
    考研英語全程班或聯(lián)報班的學(xué)員都有機(jī)會學(xué)習(xí)新東方名師姜麗蓉考前高分必讀班，包括作文班、翻譯班。詳解考研英語主觀題答題模式，讓你迅速攻克主觀題，提高成績。
    下面是本次作文批改的題目以及考研教研員對學(xué)員的作文批改范例，是從學(xué)員作文中經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的1、詞匯錯誤2、語法錯誤3、句式錯誤4、主題立意5、篇章結(jié)構(gòu) 等方面進(jìn)行的批改。
    2008年考研英語寫作真題
    Directions:
    Write an essay of 160~200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should
    1) describe the drawing briefly,
    2) explain its intended meaning, and then
    3) give your comments。
    第二篇：
    Directions:
    You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because your rommate always has friends visiting。
    Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons。
    老師給的批改如下：
    Collaboration
    Collaboration is of the utmost importance to be human beings.Everybody not only needs chacrect [e1] individual character ,but also demands collaboration 。
    As is described in the picture , Though two man who both lost legs that right and left, [e2] they are running to cooperate [e3] each other. Collaboration help[e4] them step out of difficulties. Cooperation is used in our lifves[e5] in generrally .Such as: [e6] business ’[e7] team work ,study partner ,interest group,discution[e8] group, band and so on.They are[e9] all club together。
    Help[e10] each other can improve efficiency . For istance[e11] , team work is used in vast majority factorty[e12] in moden life.We always to[e13] see that a process of sweater ,one group disposal[e14] wool, an other team make string, other peoples[e15] change the string to sweater 。(此句錯誤較多，沒有掌握一個。。一個。。另一個的表達(dá)法，應(yīng)為one …another…another)A sweater is made by some people or groups not only (by)one. We is bring around the tabel by foreman, (不理解你這句話的意思)dishes are appeared on table by waiter or waitress , cate is cooked by kitchener, cash is pay[e16] on counter in restaurant.we finished have [e17] dinner in their help[e18] each other .So many things of result[e19] need effort of no-one[e20] .Collaboration is important in life.
    To sum up,we should keep collaboration in general .It can help us filish[e21] many things that we can not do it by one.I was convinced cooperation can improve work productiveness in meliorate[e22] life, Help our society will be better palce for us to live in。(此句有誤，應(yīng)改為helping our society to be better place for us to live in。)
    點(diǎn)評：你將文章分為了四段，首段對合作進(jìn)行了闡述，在第二段時才對漫畫進(jìn)行描述，一般來說，這種寫法也是沒有大問題的。但為了保險起見，我們通常將文章分為三段首中尾最好，首先將漫畫的內(nèi)容描述清楚，然后討論漫畫中體現(xiàn)的合作精神，最后聯(lián)系實(shí)際進(jìn)一步深化主題。
    你這篇文章中出現(xiàn)了較多的語法錯誤，請你在接下來的寫作中引起高度重視，因?yàn)橄駟螐?fù)數(shù)這種錯誤在閱卷老師看來就是你英語能力差的體現(xiàn)，是不可饒恕的，一旦發(fā)現(xiàn)容易給老師留下壞的印象，分?jǐn)?shù)會受影響。
    你對漫畫深層次含義的討論還算清楚，舉了實(shí)例，但語言偏于貧乏，只能算是勉強(qiáng)交差，不能給閱卷老師眼前一亮的好印象，因?yàn)橥ㄆ聛砦覜]有看到主題句的亮點(diǎn)，沒有句式的變化。我們在文章中最好能有一到兩句長句，能使我們的文章更加生動、鮮活。